To the lady behind the counter at immigration, Randy says: "It's no wonder this country is so backwards. You guys need to sort out all these different forms, so it's not so confusing."

 

"Yes sir," she says, giving his passport back to him.

 

I manage to get through the immigration process without the confusion that beset Randy and we head out of the airport and into the hotel car.

"The people in this country are so complacent," Randy says to the driver. "If you want to develop more quickly into a real country, the people need to take more initiative."

"Oh yes," the driver says.

Randy is my boss. He is a relatively confident American fellow, and I have long since stopped paying attention to the endless advice he likes to hand out to strangers. He seems to think he has the market cornered when it comes to the way things ought to be done.

We get to the hotel. Randy informs the check-in clerk that they really shouldn't have kept us waiting for so long and that the standard of service is quite low. She, of course, said: "Yes sir. My apologies."

At our meeting with Seyasell Corporation the next day, Randy puts his confidence to better use. Although thinking you know everything is not going to make you a popular dinner guest, it is very useful in our job. Clients like investment bankers who are confident and are prepared to say with certainty what they think should be done.

"There is no way you should be thinking about taking on additional debt," Randy says to the Seyasell CEO. "The only sensible approach is to raise more capital through an issue of new equity. Anything else would be downright crazy."

"I'm expecting further dollar weakness, though," the CEO says. "Financing now in US dollars could be a big upside in a year's time when our currency appreciates against the dollar."

"No how, no way. You're going to see a big rebound in the dollar pretty soon. I am absolutely certain on this," Randy replies. There is of course no way he would be certain about this. No one in the universe really knows why currencies move in any particular direction, at least not in advance. But he thinks he does, and eventually the dollar will go up and he will be right on a long enough timeline.

The Seyasell CEO gives up trying to argue and gives us a mandate for the equity issue. The first step is a meeting with the Seyasell shareholders in the US.

Having listened to Randy go on about how dreadfully things are managed in Asia, it is with some excitement that I board the Cathay flight to New York, anticipating perhaps an educational experience of how things are supposed to be done. My assumption is that Americans get so upset in Asia because they are used to much more efficiently operated airports and public services at home.

Of course, anyone who has been to John F Kennedy International Airport will know that is a total myth. I wait longer in the immigration queue there than I have in the past six months in Manila, Bangkok or even Tokyo, and the queue for taxis once I get out of the airport is mind-blowing. But no one makes a fuss and there is no way that I am going to complain, seeing as everywhere I look there are very large uniformed officials with handguns and other weapons.

I start to suspect that the reason Americans bitch and moan so much in Asia is not because airports and things are better operated in the US, and it's not because everyone is more sensible and better behaved.

No, it's because if you start making a fuss in the immigration line, or in the taxi queue, or anywhere else in the US, you're not going to get the polite deferential smile or apology you get in Asia.

Instead, you're going to be carted off by security in seconds.

And that's if you're lucky. If you're unlucky, you're going to be in an argument with another angry American who may well also be carrying an automatic weapon.

When I finally get through immigration I find Randy and have my opportunity to bring him a little way down to Earth.

"Geez, Randy, I now know why you find Asian airports so frustrating. The system here is so much more efficient," I say sarcastically.

"Exactly, Alan. It is a bit of a shame that the process takes so long for you, but that's the trouble with the US these days, we have to be careful of all these foreigners."