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Over the course of the past couple of weeks, I gave you my top 10 travel tips. Things like: don't check luggage, don't sit next to colleagues, and don't talk to strangers. Many of you wrote in to give me your own suggestions and travel rules, and true to my word, this week I present a selection of reader suggestions.
An iPod and noise-cancelling headphones.
Readers Kai and Adam point out that the best way to escape from the noise and tedium of air travel is to put the headphones on your head and shut your eyes. And what a joy it would be not to have to hear, in three different languages, that "the captain has switched on the `fasten seat belts' sign".
Of course, the one problem with this approach is that the flight crew are still told they have to ask people to switch off their iPods during takeoff and landing. This, I am informed, is because of the signals emitted by MP3 players. I was horrified to hear this. "Does this mean that iPods are all signalling each other? Are they communicating with Steve Jobs in California? Are they planning to take over the world like the androids in that Will Smith film I, Robot?" I asked a friendly flight attendant recently, only to be told: "It's our company policy, sir."
Of course, iPods don't emit "signals", at least not in the sense that a mobile phone does. They do emit some low-level electromagnetic waves. But if low-level electromagnetic waves are going to endanger the aircraft, then we're in big trouble.
Practically everything on board emits electromagnetic waves, including all the TV screens in the seats, every light, every electrical cable and, of course, the public-address system they use to ask you to turn off your electronic devices.
The best way to solve the problem of being told to turn off your MP3 player is simply to respond: "Sure, it's off," Only on Australian airlines have I ever been asked actually to remove the earpieces from my ears.
Wear a wedding ring, suggests Maria.
She goes on to explain that this is perhaps more important for female travellers than male, and it is probably more important in some places than others.
I was a business traveller both before and after I was married and I can say definitively that wearing a wedding ring has made not one bit of difference to the level of harassment I have received from members of the opposite sex.
I am likely to be bothered by overzealous advances about once every three or four years, and even then, it's hard for me to feel too threatened by someone being unusually friendly.
However, I understand from my readers that the level of annoyance may be somewhat higher for a woman travelling alone - and this nuisance can be slightly reduced by wearing a ring.
Create fear among the cabin crew by asking for the passenger feedback form.
This approach was suggested by Jeffry. It is basically the reverse of my suggestion that by being nice to the cabin crew, you endear yourself to them and therefore get better service.
Jeffry's approach is to create a fear that you might write something nasty on that feedback form, thereby encouraging the crew to be especially nice to you. I don't know if that would really work, but I'd be afraid that the flight crew's response to the implicit threat would be to extract some sort of revenge.
Do not remove your shoes until the plane has taken off.
This amusing suggestion comes from Melinda. Once passengers get comfortable, the tendency is to take off the jacket, loosen the tie, and slip off the shoes. So here's the travel tip: most airline accidents occur during takeoff or landing, so leave your shoes on during takeoff and put them back on during landing. That way if there is an accident, you will be better equipped to run out of the plane, possibly stepping on broken glass.
This is an interesting thought. But as useful as shoes are most of the time, if a plane hits the ground and explodes in a ball of fire with you inside it, your shoes aren't going to help.
It is very important not to start watching a movie unless there is ample time to finish it.
This less depressing point was made by Ralph. For example, if the flight has two hours to go, that's probably not enough time to watch a 90-minute movie. The entertainment system gets shut down 15 to 20 minutes before arrival, so that cuts into your time. And every time there is an announcement, the movie will pause. If the announcements are in more than one language and you get a few of them, that's another 10 minutes, at least.
Ralph writes that he discovered this some time ago when he watched The Sixth Sense on a plane and missed the last 10 minutes. It was only months later that Ralph found out that Bruce Willis' character was dead the whole time, and only then did he finally realise why everyone thought it was such a great film. He had been embarrassing himself at dinner parties long before then by saying he thought it was "kinda dull". Just one more peril of flying.
So that's it for travel tips. Thanks to all of you who wrote in.
Once the airlines start letting us use our mobile phones on board, I'll revisit this subject, but by that time, it will be "How to Avoid Business Travel Altogether".
More handy travel tips to keep you grounded
Sunday, September 14, 2008
